THE POWER OF LOVE - BY CHANDA

I have a confession to make. I can tell you, because somehow I know you will understand and not judge me for this. Inside myself somewhere deep, is a fear of not being loved. Yes, I have had it most of my life, and more recently have become aware of this energy playing a hand in my decisions and in my life.

The fear of not being loved may be familiar to you, too. It shows up and plays little games with your mind. This fear seeps into your life in subtle ways; you may not even notice how it impacts you. Some clues are: not wanting to get out of bed in the morning, avoiding phone calls, convincing your mind to make up all sorts of stories to justify your need to play small in life, thinking about yourself, thinking about yourself, thinking about yourself. I notice at times it affects how I parent, how I relate to my husband Troy, how I interact with other immediate family, even how I act around others. I find myself striving for perfection to a fault (which is probably why I have consistently great hair and an impeccably clean house), making everyone crazy in the meantime. I realized the root of my behaviors resides in this one fear; the fear of not being loved. It doesn't even matter how many times I'm told I'm loved, I still can't fully accept it (anyone relate to that?). I have become so aware of this fear operating in my life that now I am finally able to see it for what it is: untrue.

How could I possibly have not seen it before? Where did it come from? How do I release it so it doesn't ruin my relationships? Maybe those answers will come in time, maybe not. Maybe I'll feel all sorts of guilt, sadness and panic as I race to figure out why I feel those feelings. However, as I pause to reflect on this, I am granted a little wisdom that may help you too: BE LOVE. The act of being takes you away from the fear. To do this, I may need to get out of bed, answer the phone, meet up with people I haven't seen in awhile, stop thinking about myself, stop thinking about myself, just stop thinking about myself.

Something as powerful as the act of love is enough to wipe away the fear. It is also enough to help me see where I am holding back the true expression of my spirit. By being love, in every situation, I have completely opened a space to seeing myself through the eyes of others. I have also created the byproduct of loving myself. Now that feels darn good!

Remember these lyrics from the 80's band Huey Lewis and the News (man I love that music).

You don't need money, don't need fame
Don't need no credit card to ride this train
It's strong and it's sudden and it's cruel sometimes
BUT IT MIGHT JUST SAVE YOUR LIFE
That's the power of love
That's the power of love

See it, feel it, BE it.

Love,
Chanda