I took on an exercise in journaling last night. I would call it automatic writing, because when I read back on what I wrote it was as if it wasn't me writing. I encourage anyone interested or curious about this to take it on as a way to connect to your higher self, purpose, mission, or God. Thank you for allowing me to share this. I hope it inspires you in some way.
Love is...elusive and yet necessary. Sustain love and freedom remains. Sufi poets speak of love, touch the heart of love and grab the soul of love with words. Grab the soul of love with both hands and watch it disappear. Love is freedom. We speak of love, think of love, try to understand something like love. No understanding can bring love into existance. It fleets from moment to moment pleased with the one who allows it to be exactly as it is, no shape or form holding it. Too much harm can come when the need to hold becomes too strong. Hold it and all is lost, let go and all is ours. There in the freedom lies the soul of love.
Time to strike against the nerves of the lives of others, mixing it up, shaking it...no them. Too vulnerable, you say? What else is there? Stir the imagination, you say? I'll leave that for the animators. My purpose...being drawn to digging deeper than the first layer of the soul. I help others reveal emotional blockages, baggage, residue to reach higher truths. Peeling the layers back of the onion one layer at a time, to expose the sweet untouched and flavorful center. Isn't that what we all want? Get to the heart of the matter, but that's too exposed, too strong, gives off an odor, makes others cry, too pure, too blinding.
Please God, peel my layers, help me find the center. The most flavor lies there. Others will dry their eyes, they will recover. I, however, cannot recover covered by all the layers. Please, God, I ask you to be bold, all hesitation lost, no one will give you permission besides me to strip away the unwanted layers of my soul. Through the tears others will finally see the beauty that is themselves, if they choose. Revolutionary and shocking, too far ahead of my time is o.k. Shaking up the sleeping, the lazy, the dying...get to the center of the matter, the heart of the matter, it doesn't matter what you find there and it is ALL that matters.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Love is Freedom - from Chanda
Love is Freedom.
Those three words hit me like a lightning bolt last night at our Course in Miracles group. Just the night before I had been sitting on the couch throwing one of my famous tantrums (by the way now after the fact I have absolutely no idea what I was whining about), while Troy just sat on the couch in baffled wonderment at me, waiting ever so patiently for me to finish and then said "where are you withholding love from yourself, Chanda?" His question had me dumbfounded. But it stopped me in my tracks. Holding back love for ourselves means we withhold love from others. Earlier in the day I had a less than proud parenting moment with Jacob where I'm sure he was doing something really innocent and I was reacting which had us both in a time out by the end of it. All I needed to do was stop and remind myself to find where the love was missing in the moment. Sitting on the couch with Troy, hours later, I found love again, when all I needed to do in the first place was grant myself mercy for the feelings I was having and any and all angst disappeared. That is love. Love is freedom. Freedom feels good.
Today was filled with Love. We spent our day serving others. Troy and I manifested more abundance in one day than we would have earned together in a week when we were working 8-5 jobs. I found myself assisting a realtor clearing negative energy from homes she is trying to sell, analyzing stocks for another client and assisting someone connect to their spirit guide, while Troy helped someone who very recently lost a spouse connect with that loved one now in spirit. Just business as usual at the Parkinsons.
After that, we went to the gym, picked Jacob up from daycare, spent time as a family and by the end of the day we looked at each other a little dumbfounded and completely joyful at what we had created. Love showed up in the presence of assisting others make difficult decisions and gain closure. All we were doing was what we were asked to do. Can you clear energies of a house for me? O.K. Can you help me connect with my spirit guide? O.K. Can you help me reach out to my deceased spouse? O.K. Giving of ourselves freely, without judgment, letting go and allowing, because we say so, because we know it is right and is in perfect alignment with who we are as spirit. That is love. Love is freedom.
Food for thought: any action out of the motivation of fear is a dead end. It doesn't matter how noble or ethical the action. If it's based in fear, it will pretty much come back to haunt us later somehow, to teach us something about ourselves and who we want to be. I was listening to a podcast from Abraham (through the work of Esther Hicks) and he was saying that we have attracted and created our current circumstances only as a contrast to what we desire. So the current reality we are living in is there only to provide a contrast to what we desire. In other words, this is my home, my car, my job and my life, and it may not be exactly where I would like it to be. I definitely want this other home, this other car, this other reality. Fine. So start thinking about it. Where the rut catches us every time is any time we dwell in what we do not want, the focus becomes so strong, we become fixated on what exists that we really could do without. It seems like nothing can take our attention away from what is (again...that we usually do not want). Usually there is some presence of fear, so we take action out of that fear and guess what? Another dead end.
I had grown really comfy in my dead ends for a long time. At the same time, I couldn't figure out why I was always finding them. What I've learned is this: driving out of them means getting out the map again, shaking it up a bit and finding another way, shifting the direction I am going in, trying something else, something new, letting go of the attachments I have to my way being the right way. It's not comfortable, sometimes I run out of gas and need to refuel. Worse yet, sometimes I need to ask for directions, swallowing my pride and recognizing I don't in fact know it all...yet :-)
When we stop the act of desiring, we are dead. Living as if we no longer want anything is denying ourselves God, Love and what's rightly ours. I found the English translation of "Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring." I read here that we aspire, soar and strive to truth yet unknown, to be like the Christ and that desire never ends, until death.
Jesu, joy of man's desiring,
Holy Wisdom, Love most bright;
Drawn by Thee, our souls, aspiring,
Soar to uncreated light.
Word of God, our flesh that fashion'd,
With the fire of life impassion'd,
Striving still to truth unknown,
Soaring, dying, round Thy throne.
Those three words hit me like a lightning bolt last night at our Course in Miracles group. Just the night before I had been sitting on the couch throwing one of my famous tantrums (by the way now after the fact I have absolutely no idea what I was whining about), while Troy just sat on the couch in baffled wonderment at me, waiting ever so patiently for me to finish and then said "where are you withholding love from yourself, Chanda?" His question had me dumbfounded. But it stopped me in my tracks. Holding back love for ourselves means we withhold love from others. Earlier in the day I had a less than proud parenting moment with Jacob where I'm sure he was doing something really innocent and I was reacting which had us both in a time out by the end of it. All I needed to do was stop and remind myself to find where the love was missing in the moment. Sitting on the couch with Troy, hours later, I found love again, when all I needed to do in the first place was grant myself mercy for the feelings I was having and any and all angst disappeared. That is love. Love is freedom. Freedom feels good.
Today was filled with Love. We spent our day serving others. Troy and I manifested more abundance in one day than we would have earned together in a week when we were working 8-5 jobs. I found myself assisting a realtor clearing negative energy from homes she is trying to sell, analyzing stocks for another client and assisting someone connect to their spirit guide, while Troy helped someone who very recently lost a spouse connect with that loved one now in spirit. Just business as usual at the Parkinsons.
After that, we went to the gym, picked Jacob up from daycare, spent time as a family and by the end of the day we looked at each other a little dumbfounded and completely joyful at what we had created. Love showed up in the presence of assisting others make difficult decisions and gain closure. All we were doing was what we were asked to do. Can you clear energies of a house for me? O.K. Can you help me connect with my spirit guide? O.K. Can you help me reach out to my deceased spouse? O.K. Giving of ourselves freely, without judgment, letting go and allowing, because we say so, because we know it is right and is in perfect alignment with who we are as spirit. That is love. Love is freedom.
Food for thought: any action out of the motivation of fear is a dead end. It doesn't matter how noble or ethical the action. If it's based in fear, it will pretty much come back to haunt us later somehow, to teach us something about ourselves and who we want to be. I was listening to a podcast from Abraham (through the work of Esther Hicks) and he was saying that we have attracted and created our current circumstances only as a contrast to what we desire. So the current reality we are living in is there only to provide a contrast to what we desire. In other words, this is my home, my car, my job and my life, and it may not be exactly where I would like it to be. I definitely want this other home, this other car, this other reality. Fine. So start thinking about it. Where the rut catches us every time is any time we dwell in what we do not want, the focus becomes so strong, we become fixated on what exists that we really could do without. It seems like nothing can take our attention away from what is (again...that we usually do not want). Usually there is some presence of fear, so we take action out of that fear and guess what? Another dead end.
I had grown really comfy in my dead ends for a long time. At the same time, I couldn't figure out why I was always finding them. What I've learned is this: driving out of them means getting out the map again, shaking it up a bit and finding another way, shifting the direction I am going in, trying something else, something new, letting go of the attachments I have to my way being the right way. It's not comfortable, sometimes I run out of gas and need to refuel. Worse yet, sometimes I need to ask for directions, swallowing my pride and recognizing I don't in fact know it all...yet :-)
When we stop the act of desiring, we are dead. Living as if we no longer want anything is denying ourselves God, Love and what's rightly ours. I found the English translation of "Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring." I read here that we aspire, soar and strive to truth yet unknown, to be like the Christ and that desire never ends, until death.
Jesu, joy of man's desiring,
Holy Wisdom, Love most bright;
Drawn by Thee, our souls, aspiring,
Soar to uncreated light.
Word of God, our flesh that fashion'd,
With the fire of life impassion'd,
Striving still to truth unknown,
Soaring, dying, round Thy throne.
Montana Update - from Chanda
Well it has been quite a whirlwind since we last wrote in our blog. Montana was breathtaking, in many ways. Exhilarating in others. The highlights were meeting up with our dear friend Patty Kirk in Missoula. She and her husband have a home on the Blackfoot River. Imagine waking up to the sounds of the river, walking down to the dock and enjoying morning coffee staring at the beautiful mountains covered with trees. What a way to live! We spent a day hiking to Holland Lake and a magnificent waterfall and another day together floating down the Blackfoot River. We shared lots of great meals, laughter and work. Patty is a wonderful energy healer, and for the first time Sheri and I were able to share our work with her. It was a really profound experience.
We were welcomed so warmly at the Feng Shui Center in downtown Missoula. The public evening of communication was great and Troy's work really flourished there. We made some terrific connections, including a session we had with Archangel Raphael, channeled through a woman who does readings there. We were given much insight and guidance for what's to come. Raphael seemed to know a lot about us that he couldn't have known, and some of the insights were right on and downright spooky (this coming from a psychic :-) While in Missoula, we were connected with a woman in Helena, MT who owns a healing center. Within 48 hours she was able to put together a public event that had 30 people attend! Now that's manifestation!! We've been invited back in September.
After work was done, it was time to play. We headed to Glacier National Park for a family reunion. Cozy cabins kept us safe and warm as we connected with Troy's family from far and wide, intimate conversations on walking trails and celebrating a 50th wedding anniversary for Troy's aunt Barb and uncle Ronnie were the highlight. Jacob would say the highlight for him was going to his first ever waterpark with real water slides. He was so brave and did several of the rides by himself. After getting a bit spooked by one of them, he was ready to "go to the hot tub." So cute! We also went white water rafting. I've never laughed so hard watching Troy and his dad in the front of the raft get slammed time and again by freezing glacier waves. What an adventure!
We felt the sadness sink in on the drive back to Fargo. Leaving this trek was not easy to do. Not because we didn't want to come home, we really were very excited to connect back into community. It was sadness because we were leaving behind people we didn't recognize anymore, mainly the old Chanda, Troy and Jacob. We learned so much on this journey and peeled layers off of ourselves each day we were called to live in the moment. At home with daily routines it's easier to slide by, not really in our bodies, at times even coasting. When you are out there you are only thinking about your next meal and where you will lay your head that night. Not having any other distractions but the beauty and joy of the wonders around us, we were inspired beyond our wildest dreams. We found ourselves brainstorming ways of making a living on the road, fantasizing about ways that the "psychic Von Trapp" family could go to work for National Geographic or maybe The Discovery Channel? Maybe. Maybe not. Considering what we've been manifesting in our lives lately, I wouldn't be surprised if it happens. Careful what you wish for, right?
We were welcomed so warmly at the Feng Shui Center in downtown Missoula. The public evening of communication was great and Troy's work really flourished there. We made some terrific connections, including a session we had with Archangel Raphael, channeled through a woman who does readings there. We were given much insight and guidance for what's to come. Raphael seemed to know a lot about us that he couldn't have known, and some of the insights were right on and downright spooky (this coming from a psychic :-) While in Missoula, we were connected with a woman in Helena, MT who owns a healing center. Within 48 hours she was able to put together a public event that had 30 people attend! Now that's manifestation!! We've been invited back in September.
After work was done, it was time to play. We headed to Glacier National Park for a family reunion. Cozy cabins kept us safe and warm as we connected with Troy's family from far and wide, intimate conversations on walking trails and celebrating a 50th wedding anniversary for Troy's aunt Barb and uncle Ronnie were the highlight. Jacob would say the highlight for him was going to his first ever waterpark with real water slides. He was so brave and did several of the rides by himself. After getting a bit spooked by one of them, he was ready to "go to the hot tub." So cute! We also went white water rafting. I've never laughed so hard watching Troy and his dad in the front of the raft get slammed time and again by freezing glacier waves. What an adventure!
We felt the sadness sink in on the drive back to Fargo. Leaving this trek was not easy to do. Not because we didn't want to come home, we really were very excited to connect back into community. It was sadness because we were leaving behind people we didn't recognize anymore, mainly the old Chanda, Troy and Jacob. We learned so much on this journey and peeled layers off of ourselves each day we were called to live in the moment. At home with daily routines it's easier to slide by, not really in our bodies, at times even coasting. When you are out there you are only thinking about your next meal and where you will lay your head that night. Not having any other distractions but the beauty and joy of the wonders around us, we were inspired beyond our wildest dreams. We found ourselves brainstorming ways of making a living on the road, fantasizing about ways that the "psychic Von Trapp" family could go to work for National Geographic or maybe The Discovery Channel? Maybe. Maybe not. Considering what we've been manifesting in our lives lately, I wouldn't be surprised if it happens. Careful what you wish for, right?
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