Love is Freedom - from Chanda

Love is Freedom.

Those three words hit me like a lightning bolt last night at our Course in Miracles group. Just the night before I had been sitting on the couch throwing one of my famous tantrums (by the way now after the fact I have absolutely no idea what I was whining about), while Troy just sat on the couch in baffled wonderment at me, waiting ever so patiently for me to finish and then said "where are you withholding love from yourself, Chanda?" His question had me dumbfounded. But it stopped me in my tracks. Holding back love for ourselves means we withhold love from others. Earlier in the day I had a less than proud parenting moment with Jacob where I'm sure he was doing something really innocent and I was reacting which had us both in a time out by the end of it. All I needed to do was stop and remind myself to find where the love was missing in the moment. Sitting on the couch with Troy, hours later, I found love again, when all I needed to do in the first place was grant myself mercy for the feelings I was having and any and all angst disappeared. That is love. Love is freedom. Freedom feels good.

Today was filled with Love. We spent our day serving others. Troy and I manifested more abundance in one day than we would have earned together in a week when we were working 8-5 jobs. I found myself assisting a realtor clearing negative energy from homes she is trying to sell, analyzing stocks for another client and assisting someone connect to their spirit guide, while Troy helped someone who very recently lost a spouse connect with that loved one now in spirit. Just business as usual at the Parkinsons.

After that, we went to the gym, picked Jacob up from daycare, spent time as a family and by the end of the day we looked at each other a little dumbfounded and completely joyful at what we had created. Love showed up in the presence of assisting others make difficult decisions and gain closure. All we were doing was what we were asked to do. Can you clear energies of a house for me? O.K. Can you help me connect with my spirit guide? O.K. Can you help me reach out to my deceased spouse? O.K. Giving of ourselves freely, without judgment, letting go and allowing, because we say so, because we know it is right and is in perfect alignment with who we are as spirit. That is love. Love is freedom.

Food for thought: any action out of the motivation of fear is a dead end. It doesn't matter how noble or ethical the action. If it's based in fear, it will pretty much come back to haunt us later somehow, to teach us something about ourselves and who we want to be. I was listening to a podcast from Abraham (through the work of Esther Hicks) and he was saying that we have attracted and created our current circumstances only as a contrast to what we desire. So the current reality we are living in is there only to provide a contrast to what we desire. In other words, this is my home, my car, my job and my life, and it may not be exactly where I would like it to be. I definitely want this other home, this other car, this other reality. Fine. So start thinking about it. Where the rut catches us every time is any time we dwell in what we do not want, the focus becomes so strong, we become fixated on what exists that we really could do without. It seems like nothing can take our attention away from what is (again...that we usually do not want). Usually there is some presence of fear, so we take action out of that fear and guess what? Another dead end.

I had grown really comfy in my dead ends for a long time. At the same time, I couldn't figure out why I was always finding them. What I've learned is this: driving out of them means getting out the map again, shaking it up a bit and finding another way, shifting the direction I am going in, trying something else, something new, letting go of the attachments I have to my way being the right way. It's not comfortable, sometimes I run out of gas and need to refuel. Worse yet, sometimes I need to ask for directions, swallowing my pride and recognizing I don't in fact know it all...yet :-)

When we stop the act of desiring, we are dead. Living as if we no longer want anything is denying ourselves God, Love and what's rightly ours. I found the English translation of "Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring." I read here that we aspire, soar and strive to truth yet unknown, to be like the Christ and that desire never ends, until death.
Jesu, joy of man's desiring,
Holy Wisdom, Love most bright;
Drawn by Thee, our souls, aspiring,
Soar to uncreated light.
Word of God, our flesh that fashion'd,
With the fire of life impassion'd,
Striving still to truth unknown,
Soaring, dying, round Thy throne.